I am so hard on myself and it is hard to pinpoint where it all started. My parents were always pretty proud of me and they never said anything to me that would cause me to question myself as much as I do. I was always one of those kids that thought they did bad on a test and would end up with an A. It wasn’t because I was trying to downplay it. I really didn’t think I did well on it. I think it stems from fear of failure. If you don’t set your expectations high you never fail. I do my best in mostly everything I do, but rarely do I go into something feeling confident about it no matter how many times I have done it.
I know people get tired of me talking about myself and how I think I’m not good at anything, but I can’t help it. I think that is just the type of person I am. I get plenty of validation from my co-workers, family, and friends, but that doesn’t help. Sure I can fake confidence, but it wouldn’t change the way I feel on the inside. I can’t say for sure if my attitude about myself will ever change.
So, what am I going to do to change? I guess I will just keep saying I think I can until I get over that hill.