Friendship Part 4: Just One of the Guys

Let’s talk about Ariana Madix from Vanderpump Rules. If you have not seen Vanderpump Rules and it is a critically acclaimed show on Bravo and it is about the lives of servers at a restaurant in California called Sur owned by Lisa Vanderpump. Below is a trailer to give you an idea of what the show is about. The trailer does not show Ariana since she came on the show later.

 

Anyway, Ariana mostly hangs out with the guys on the show because she does not get along with most of the girls. Granted a lot of the girls on the show are pretty awful, especially Stassi and Kristen. Ariana is probably one of the most tolerable people on the show because she is pretty chill compared to the other girls who are always yelling at each other. Also, she is one of the groomsmen for Schwartz wedding, which is pretty awesome.

 

Ariana has the blonde top bun

Watching Ariana’s interactions with the guys and the girls on the show raised some questions for me regarding being a “guy’s girl”.

What makes a woman a “guy’s girl”?

I am no expert, but the most obvious characteristic is that she has more guy friends than girl friends. I looked online to see what I could find about this subject and Urban Dictionary, which is such a great academic source, gave me the following definition of a guy’s girl:

That great girl who can just chill and be ‘one of the guys’. She’s into sports, beer, action flicks and doesn’t give a damn what others think.
However, unlike the tomboy, she has her gang of girl mates who she shops with and does girly stuff.
When attractive, this girl is mysterious and elusive. Acts aloof and gives off the ‘cool girl’ aura, like she’s very aware of both guys’ and girls’ worlds.

Oh, of course Buzzfeed has an article about this subject as well. And for good measure here is another article.

I really don’t like the answers from the articles. They make pretty broad generalizations about what guys like. I think it is important to note that every situation is different. You don’t have to like sports and/or drink beer to be a guy’s girl because not all guys like that stuff.

I would not consider myself a guy’s girl because I have more friends that are women than I do that are men. Simple as that. I do fit into the stereotype. I was a tom boy growing up, I have two older brothers, I like/play sports, and I am really laid back, but like I said before just because I check the boxes doesn’t mean guys are banging on my door to be their friend.

Is it cooler to have more guy friends than girl friends?

I used to think so, but not anymore. In college, I did try to gather up some guy friends, but that didn’t work out. They just didn’t “stick.” You then realize the people who had your back the whole time were your girls and that’s pretty cool.

 

Do guy’s girls not get along with other women?

There might be cases where a guy’s girl will say, “I don’t really get along with other women.” Once she makes that statement she is closing her mind. She may have experienced women not liking her because those women were significant others of the guys she was hanging out with, or she feels like she doesn’t share the same interests of other women without getting to know them better. Everyone is not the same. Just because you like beer and sports doesn’t mean there aren’t other women who like the same things.

Final Thoughts

I think it is important to have friends who are of different sex, race, and sexual orientation because it opens your mind to other thoughts and opinions. However, if you have more guy friends than girl friends, that’s great. If you have have more girl friends than guy friends that is also great. Just live your best life. Surround yourself with friends that you can have adventures with, that can make you laugh, that are there for you when you need to cry, and that you can be completely honest with.

I think I am done with the Friendship Series, so I will end it with a slideshow of my friends. If you are my friend, but not on this slideshow that just means I couldn’t find a pic on Facebook.  Some of them include my cousins and brothers, but who says they can’t be your friends too. Also, I shouldn’t have went back so far because I saw a skinnier Brandy and I miss her dearly.

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Bad Habits

In my last post I talked about one of my worst habits: nail biting. In this post I want to list the other bad habits that I have. You will probably figure out pretty quickly that I have these bad habits because I am lazy, which would be the right assumption.

  • Buying groceries only when I have nothing left in the fridge
  • Staying up until 1-2am
  • Watching too much TV, especially shows that are straight garbage
  • Throwing away things that I might need later
    • I hate having stuff.
  • Overeating
  • Checking the doorknob a million times before I go to bed.
  • Not wearing my retainers at night.
    • I wear them maybe a few times a month. That is why I have spaces in my teeth now.
  • Not finishing non-fiction books
    • It isn’t that I don’t like non-fiction. For example, I like the book David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell, but I stopped at page 50 for no reason. I haven’t picked it up since and that was probably a year ago. I hope to finish it eventually.
  • Wearing my contacts for too long.
  • Not making eye contact when talking to people
    • I don’t do this all the time, but I do catch myself doing it sometimes. I just don’t like long periods of eye contact.
  • Not following through with plans
    • I don’t like planning because when I start I get too into it and then it gets so overwhelming that I just give up. I definitely prefer when someone else makes all the plans.
  • Taking my time with putting things away
    • clothes, shoes, dishes, etc.
  • Waiting until my gas light comes on before putting more gas in it

A Real Nail Biter

I have a lot of bad habits, but one of my top 5 worst habits is that I am a serious nail biter. The tips of my fingers are nubs. It is hard for me to open up things with a pop top and scratching isn’t really that effective. I bite my nails because 1) I don’t like long nails, 2) I am anxious all the time, and 3) it is something to do. Apparently biting your nails means that you are a perfectionist. I like things to be done right. I don’t know who doesn’t, but I wouldn’t call myself a perfectionist.

So, I decided to challenge myself and see how long I can go without biting my nails. It has been 4 days and I have not taken a bite. It has been pretty hard to kick this habit, but it is good that I am practicing self-control. I have noticed that I have been chewing gum a lot more. It could be because I am not biting my nail, or because I am cutting down on my food intake. Either way it appears I am replacing one habit with another, which I feel is normally not a good thing, but gum is harmless, right?

Friendship Part 3: Making Friends As An Adult

I was listening to this podcast on This American Life, and one of the episodes talked about making friends as an adult. I thought it was such an interesting subject to talk about because it made me think about how hard it is to make friends as an adult.

When you are a child, it is so easy to make friends because it is all about playing. You don’t really talk about anything you just play. Then you hope that the friendships that you had as a young kid carries on to middle and high school. Once, you are in college you have to make a new group of friends, and you are surrounded by so many people it is almost impossible not to find someone to hangout with. I made two friends by myself in college, and they had several friends. So, then I became friends with their friends and boom I had a posse. Now a majority of that group lives in DC. I have remained very close with that group, but I only see them about once a month.

I had to create a new network of friends in Charlottesville. That put me in a situation where I had to make friends as an adult.

Luckily, I work at a company that has a lot of young professionals, even though Charlottesville as a whole does not, so I was able to make some friends. Could I make a friend in Charlottesville outside of work? Probably not. Where would I go to make these friends? Do I go to a bar by myself, walk up to a stranger, and say, “Do you want to be friends?” In the podcast that I mentioned earlier, the guy did set up two people on a friend date. In the friend date, they went to a trivia night, which I thought was a great idea. If I had to go on a friend date with a complete stranger I would probably like to do something like an Escape Room, but I am awful with puzzles, and I wouldn’t want my new friend to think I was a dummy on the first date. Maybe I would  like to do some sort of activity like rock climbing, shooting hoops, etc because I don’t know how to carry a conversation so doing an activity eases the pressure of having to find something to talk about.