Friendship Part 3: Making Friends As An Adult

I was listening to this podcast on This American Life, and one of the episodes talked about making friends as an adult. I thought it was such an interesting subject to talk about because it made me think about how hard it is to make friends as an adult.

When you are a child, it is so easy to make friends because it is all about playing. You don’t really talk about anything you just play. Then you hope that the friendships that you had as a young kid carries on to middle and high school. Once, you are in college you have to make a new group of friends, and you are surrounded by so many people it is almost impossible not to find someone to hangout with. I made two friends by myself in college, and they had several friends. So, then I became friends with their friends and boom I had a posse. Now a majority of that group lives in DC. I have remained very close with that group, but I only see them about once a month.

I had to create a new network of friends in Charlottesville. That put me in a situation where I had to make friends as an adult.

Luckily, I work at a company that has a lot of young professionals, even though Charlottesville as a whole does not, so I was able to make some friends. Could I make a friend in Charlottesville outside of work? Probably not. Where would I go to make these friends? Do I go to a bar by myself, walk up to a stranger, and say, “Do you want to be friends?” In the podcast that I mentioned earlier, the guy did set up two people on a friend date. In the friend date, they went to a trivia night, which I thought was a great idea. If I had to go on a friend date with a complete stranger I would probably like to do something like an Escape Room, but I am awful with puzzles, and I wouldn’t want my new friend to think I was a dummy on the first date. Maybe I would  like to do some sort of activity like rock climbing, shooting hoops, etc because I don’t know how to carry a conversation so doing an activity eases the pressure of having to find something to talk about.

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